Well, I missed a day. I told myself I’d write here every single day, for myself and not anyone else, and I already missed a day.
Yesterday was a WFH day for me, so I slept in, checked my emails in bed, and then finally got around to starting my day with some coffee and podcasts on my makeshift desk that consisted of pulling my coffee table really close to my couch for the utmost comfortability.
The day I had yesterdays would have been the perfect day to blog and write and tear it up here. But instead, I worked ahead. I worked so far ahead that I have two of my largest schedules already done for work! It was such a good feeling of accomplishment that I just kept going and going and going until it was time for me to be done working for the day. And then, even after I was done, I cleaned our kitchen. I washed every possible dirty dish in our home (and, trust me, there were a LOT of them), took a long shower, packed up my things for my short weekend overnight stay with friends, and then went to the store with my husband.
In all of that time, I kept thinking to myself, “Don’t forget to write today!” As if the world depended on it. Even though I keep telling myself that I am doing this for me. I don’t have any followers. No one is reading these. These entries are for me and me alone. No one is actively searching for this and reading it every day. But I just kept nagging myself and thinking that I was lying to myself (and the whole internet) if I didn’t make a post.
It wasn’t until right before bed that my best friend really reminded me of why I’m doing this: To help myself grieve and bring myself joy. He reminded me that missing a single day, or even several days, or never doing it again, was a choice I was making for myself; that it wasn’t hurting anyone, myself included. Only then did I pick up a book and read before falling asleep for the night.
However, in all my agonizing over this, I did find something fun and new while we were at the store. When we went to Walmart, we found little Tostinos Party Pizzas that were supposedly Mexican pizza. In college, my husband and I used to love those little pizzas, even if we microwaved them because we didn’t have an oven in our dorms. They’d be so soggy, but they’d taste SO GOOD. So, of course, for both nostalgic and scientific purposes, we bought two to take home and actually make on our pizza stone. Turns out they’re delicious. It was life changing. A $2 pizza brought me more joy than most things have this entire week! And, even better, when we stopped at the gas station on the way home, we found Sweet Chili Lime Captain Morgan. Sounded disgusting, but it was on sale for $5.99 for whatever reason. Turns out, it was also delicious. Last night we tried it in Diet Coke, and it was fantastic! Next, I think I’ll try it in some Diet Dr. Pepper because I think it’ll be even better!
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| I Will Be Buying More. |
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| And I'll Buy More of This, Too! |
Even with all the stress I put on myself about writing, I still managed to have both a productive day, and find some fun new things to try that I really enjoyed.
Today, however, was much different. Today I worked in the office, where I am sitting currently before heading to a friend’s house for dinner, I continued to work ahead on my schedules. I made such good progress, but I still just couldn’t stop myself. For the first time in months, I feel caught up and good about myself work-wise, despite not loving my job and constantly feeling burnt out. I just felt so compelled to keep going. I can’t seem to stop something once I start, especially at work.
But, I did manage to find some time to do the things I enjoy today, too. I actually ventured out to Target (don’t get it twisted, I actually hate Target because they were the first to get rid of their DEI programs, thanks to Trumpster Dumpster Fire when he most recently took office) to look for some things. I was in search of a specific, silly little Squishmallow thing. I had seen online that these Mallow Moods were being sold exclusively at Target, and I really, really wanted one. Turns out, the Target closest to work didn’t have any, which was my fault entirely for not looking up first. What can I say? A girl loves to hunt. Anyways, I grabbed a couple of other things I had wanted — some new press on nails, a couple protein powders, and a small Squishmallow toy. Feeling a little defeated, I told myself I deserved some Starbucks on the way out (even though I obviously didn’t need it). It worked out in my favor for a couple reasons:
1. They had the pink Starbucks purse I had been looking for all summer — Bought it.
2. They had one of the mugs I had been looking at on clearance for 70% off — Bought it.
3. They were in the middle of practicing the new Unicorn drink that is dropping everywhere tomorrow — They gave me one!
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| Be Nice to Your Baristas! |
I had ordered a grande blended pink energy drink for a little pick me up while I was talking to the sweetest baristas ever about the purse and how long I’d looked for it. All four of the baristas there were so, so, so nice to me. We talked about the bag, my pink hair, my blue glasses, and how we all had the same vibes. While we were talking, I noticed one of them trying the new drink, and I only told them how pretty it was and that I couldn’t wait to try it. Then I asked them what it was supposed to taste like. The one who made it told me it was a mango base, but it also had a sour candy flavor added in! My eyes must have lit up because the barista drinking it held it out to me and asked if I wanted to try it. I immediately said yes, but to my God’s honest surprise, the original barista who was ringing up my order said, “Oh, please, make her her own!” I literally squealed like a kid in a candy store. I thought I’d get a little espresso shot sized “sample,” but, no. They gave me an actual tall unicorn frappe! It was so beautiful, and it was even more delicious. I was so impressed and so grateful. I almost cried. They were all so kind and loving and enjoyable to be around! I can’t wait to get a giant one tomorrow when they officially release! All in all, it was a pretty decent day, despite the burnout I can feel bubbling in my gut. And, it should only get better from here.
I have dinner plans with an old coworker, I’m spending the night with my two best friends to watch more Spider-Man movies, and tomorrow I’m heading to a local romance book fair and watching the first pre-season Bears game! I have a lot to look forward to tonight and tomorrow, and I’m just trying to hold onto all the good vibes for as long as I can.
Xo,
K
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