What College Does to the Avid Reader

If I'm being truthful, there isn't such a thing as an "avid reader" in college. For those of you who think that college won't change your reading habits, you're drastically wrong. You'll fight it at first, but eventually you just have to give in.

Being an avid reader myself, I expected the same: I'd go to college, I'd do all my work, but then I'd read in my downtime. I have never been more wrong about anything in my life. I soon came to the realization that there is no such thing as downtime when it comes to college. That word is no longer in my vocabulary.

When I first made it to college as a freshman, I read two books of my own free will during the entire school year. The first was during our school's Welcome Week. I didn't feel well and chose not to go to one of the activities. Instead, I stayed in and finished a book I had previously started that same summer. The second book was during finals week of my second semester. It was nearly impossible to find the time to sit down and read something other than a textbook or assigned novel. I tried and tried and tried, but I was too busy to even pick up a book that I didn't need for class. But, that never stopped me from trying. I started countless novels. I would manage to get half way through before giving up, forgetting, or growing too busy.

This coming fall I will be a junior, and I'm here to tell you that burning desire to consume as many words as possible still eats at me every day. But, I am the kind of person to sit down with a book and read without ever glancing up at a clock. In college, that is not something you can do. I've missed classes and stayed up much too late at night with books only to find myself in a bind. However, I like to read as much as I can, but the only times I've found that to be possible during school is fall, winter, and summer breaks from classes.

During the school year, the only novels I have time to read anymore are the ones I'm assigned for the courses I'm in, and I barely have enough time for those as it is. Between assigned readings for textbooks and novels, papers and actual class, it seems as though time really does fly. However, I try my hardest to make time for things like shorter novellas and rereading books that are very special to me. And, most importantly, I still refuse to see a movie before reading the book; that's where I draw the line. Even though it's a small task, reading can sometimes feel like the hardest thing to do. But, I try not to let reading slip too far away from me. So, I stress to any incoming college freshman: don't let college take away from your reading. It's so difficult to make time for things like reading, but I promise that when you do read, it will be worth it. Even if it's the worst book in the world, it will seem like the best if only because the words aren't coming from the pages of a textbook.

An Open Letter to My First College Professor

To my first professor,

As an incoming freshman just a couple of years ago, I was afraid to open a new chapter in my life. I was not ready to open up to new people, especially professors. Everything I had ever heard about college professors was daunting. I imagined them to be harsh, cruel, and nowhere close to understanding. I was also informed that college professors were never ones to make time for their students, help them when they were falling behind, or be someone to come to with problems. I was in no way prepared to meet my first college professors.

However, upon my arrival to campus, I was faced with a challenge: meeting you, my first professor, outside of class. To me, this was inconvenient and uncomfortable. It put me in a sticky situation. What if I didn't like you? What if you were rude or condescending? What if you weren't understanding about my high level of anxiety?

I was wrong on every level. I met you before college even started. You met with a large group of students that you would have for a first-year-student course the upcoming semester. You were kind, generous, and had a great sense of humor. My only fear after meeting you was that you would not be the same way during our actual course together. After realizing this fear, you pulled me aside almost as if you knew exactly what I was thinking. You spoke to each student individually about their plans for college and what followed. You discussed our plans in a way that made each person feel as though any goal we set for ourselves was achievable. You addressed our fears about other professors, as well. You made it clear that not every professor on our campus, or others, for that matter, were the same as you. You let us know that you were not the typical professor, but many on our campus were also not what we probably expected them to be. After meeting you with and without people, I had decided even before meeting any others that you would be my favorite professor. You were more understanding than any other adult I had ever met.

Soon after, your course began, and I only learned to appreciate you more. You taught me things that I could not have learned anywhere else about things I never expected. If it was not for you and your Freshman Seminar, I never would have been able to handle my first year of college. You taught me things that high school never could have prepared me for. Soon enough, you were more than a professor. You were a friend. Whether I was in class with you or not, if I had a problem about anything, you were the one I could talk to. You made my first year of school much easier and happier than I ever expected it to be.

I have everything to thank you for. You were an amazing professor, friend, and confidant. You were understanding about each problem I faced, whether it was personal or academic. You were helpful. Without you, I would not be the student I am today. Thank you for everything you did for me.

Sincerely,

Your favorite student.

What College Taught Me About Anxiety

 College was never something that I questioned. I would go and I would succeed. But once I got there I had one question. How? How could I leave everything I had known my whole life for something completely different? At this point, I had already had anxiety for a multitude of years and I had learned different ways of handling it. But the idea of going to college had me baffled. How could I with my anxiety?

I did it. And I can't lie, it was hard. There were times, more than one, that I thought that I couldn't handle what was given to me. I cried, and I cried a lot. I broke down into the smallest of pieces. But I did it. The key to anxiety, for me, was not different medications. It was friends and family. They were there each and every time that I needed them.

At first, classes were the worst of it. Freshmen year I never thought I would make it to the end of one semester, let alone two. First I got lost, then I got nervous because I didn't know my professors, then I got uncomfortable because I didn't know my classmates, then I got scared because there were upperclassmen in the same class as me. Eventually I adjusted to each of these things. It took time, but as I continued on I learned how to deal with each of those problems. I learned the campus, I got to know each of my professors on a more personal level as my classes continued (perks of my smaller school), and I learned how to speak to my other classmates without crying. It all took time, but it was worth it because it took some of the weight I seemed to be carrying off my shoulders.

Then I discovered college papers. These are difficult for almost everyone. However, I stressed about mine more than most people might. I'm not the type of person to outline a paper unless it is more than four or five pages. But, in college many professors require an outline. That made me nervous. Papers that were more than four or five pages made me nervous. Papers for classes that I didn't enjoy made me nervous. Everything about writing papers made me nervous. But I learned how to deal with that as well. That also took time, and it was also worth it. I learned, slowly, that I needed to take my time when writing papers, especially important ones. Soon enough, papers became my friend. They got easier and easier, which should have come as no surprise to me considering I'm an English writing major, but by the end of my freshmen year I was amazed at the progress I had made.

Going away to college taught me a lot of different things. I learned a lot in each of my classes, but I learned even more from the people I connected with. Whether it was professors or students, I learned a lot about others and even more about myself. But the most important thing my first year of college taught me was that it was imperative that I be upfront about my illness. Anxiety is a serious illness, and if more people were as open about it, it might not be so hard for those who suffer from it to talk about it or seek help. I can't stress enough: talk to people about your anxiety. You are not alone. There are many others that share the same anxious thoughts that you do. If you open up just a bit, you'll find them. So, always ask for help when you need it, and make it known when you're nervous or unsure about anything. Don't let anxiety beat you. I didn't, and it was the best decision of my life to fight it.