How Anxiety Changes Your Relationships

When most people think of the term anxiety, they think of things like panic attacks and depression. What they don't seem to think about is the affect it has on the relationships that those people have. Whether it be with friends, family or significant others, every relationship changes once anxiety comes into the picture. Many times, people slowly develop anxiety, but there are some times that it comes on more suddenly. People, as well as their relationships, become different when someone suffers from anxiety.

Whether it is true or not, most people believe that their friends, family and partners treat them slightly differently once it is out in the open that they suffer from anxiety. While some do (usually in an attempt to be sympathetic), many do not. Most people try to make those who are open and honest about their anxiety feel comfortable by treating them no different than anyone else. However, those who experience anxiety, temporary or permanent, tend to overthink most all situations.

Having anxiety within a friendship, or even a family, is much different than that of what it is like while in a partnership of some kind. The topic of uneasiness is more approachable between friends than it is with someone you are involved with. While it is still likely to be a difficult conversation to have, talking about your struggles and being able to set goals with friends and family is one of the most helpful things a person with anxiety can do. That being said, your relationship will still be different than it was prior to discussing your mental illness. This has nothing to do with whomever you have spoken to about your anxiety, but it has everything to do with your anxiety. Once you (and your anxiety) are aware that another person recognizes your situation, it seems that you become even more uncomfortable. I bet you didn't think that was possible! Well, it is.

Once another person knows about your anxiety, you become more and more conscience of what your relationship entails. No matter who it is — a girlfriend, boyfriend, family member or best friend — it becomes easier to sweat the small stuff. You worry more often about every action you take pertaining the aforementioned person. You will more than likely think about every word you say and every move you make. That may sound appealing, but trust me, it is not. You will overthink everything so much so that it drastically alters your relationship.

But, not to worry, many times (shockingly enough) this can change your relationships for the better. For those of you who are afraid, don't be. It is more than possible to overcome your fears, whether it be simply discussing your anxiety or overthinking the littlest of things, it is achievable. Just because things may be different, does not mean that they will be lousy. Most all people are understanding, caring, and even forgiving. But in order for them to be each of those things, they have to become aware of your situation.

What College Taught Me About Anxiety

 College was never something that I questioned. I would go and I would succeed. But once I got there I had one question. How? How could I leave everything I had known my whole life for something completely different? At this point, I had already had anxiety for a multitude of years and I had learned different ways of handling it. But the idea of going to college had me baffled. How could I with my anxiety?

I did it. And I can't lie, it was hard. There were times, more than one, that I thought that I couldn't handle what was given to me. I cried, and I cried a lot. I broke down into the smallest of pieces. But I did it. The key to anxiety, for me, was not different medications. It was friends and family. They were there each and every time that I needed them.

At first, classes were the worst of it. Freshmen year I never thought I would make it to the end of one semester, let alone two. First I got lost, then I got nervous because I didn't know my professors, then I got uncomfortable because I didn't know my classmates, then I got scared because there were upperclassmen in the same class as me. Eventually I adjusted to each of these things. It took time, but as I continued on I learned how to deal with each of those problems. I learned the campus, I got to know each of my professors on a more personal level as my classes continued (perks of my smaller school), and I learned how to speak to my other classmates without crying. It all took time, but it was worth it because it took some of the weight I seemed to be carrying off my shoulders.

Then I discovered college papers. These are difficult for almost everyone. However, I stressed about mine more than most people might. I'm not the type of person to outline a paper unless it is more than four or five pages. But, in college many professors require an outline. That made me nervous. Papers that were more than four or five pages made me nervous. Papers for classes that I didn't enjoy made me nervous. Everything about writing papers made me nervous. But I learned how to deal with that as well. That also took time, and it was also worth it. I learned, slowly, that I needed to take my time when writing papers, especially important ones. Soon enough, papers became my friend. They got easier and easier, which should have come as no surprise to me considering I'm an English writing major, but by the end of my freshmen year I was amazed at the progress I had made.

Going away to college taught me a lot of different things. I learned a lot in each of my classes, but I learned even more from the people I connected with. Whether it was professors or students, I learned a lot about others and even more about myself. But the most important thing my first year of college taught me was that it was imperative that I be upfront about my illness. Anxiety is a serious illness, and if more people were as open about it, it might not be so hard for those who suffer from it to talk about it or seek help. I can't stress enough: talk to people about your anxiety. You are not alone. There are many others that share the same anxious thoughts that you do. If you open up just a bit, you'll find them. So, always ask for help when you need it, and make it known when you're nervous or unsure about anything. Don't let anxiety beat you. I didn't, and it was the best decision of my life to fight it.