To the Best Friend at Another College

To my best friend and other half,

You may only be a few hours from me, but there are days that distance feels more like a whole world away. But there are some things that I want you to know.

First, don't ever think that I have forgotten you. In fact, I hope you know that's it's the exact opposite. I talk about you constantly. I talk to people that don't even know who you are, and I tell them stories like "This one time..." and "You won't believe it but..." You come up in almost every conversation I have, no matter who I'm talking to. I hope you do the same about me. I am always wondering if you tell the same crazy stories that I do about our friendships to other people while you're at school too. Do you tell them about that one time we went to that one party? Or that one time that we laughed about that one girl? Because I do.

Please don't let your mind wander and assume that I've replaced you with new "college friends." Sure, I've made plenty of friends here. But none of them are you. None of them will ever be you. There isn't another person in the universe that could ever replace you. You're my one and only, and I don't want that thought to ever slip from your mind.

I know we don't talk all the time, but I wish we could. There will never be a time that I ignore you on purpose. If I could talk to you every second of every day I would. Unfortunately, college comes with work. A lot of work. I don't always have my phone, and I know that I should. So, for that, I am truly sorry. I constantly wish I had more time for our long conversations filled with gossip and stories about our other friends back home. I know you have the same problem, and you're just as busy as I am. I always catch myself thinking that life would be so much easier if I could just keep you in the closet of my dorm room, or if I could live on your bedroom floor at school. A girl can dream, right.

Lastly, please don't ever forget just how much I cherish you and our friendship. You truly are my one and only. Every cliche out there applies to our friendship. You're my best friend, you're my other half, you're the blond to my brunette, and you're the better part of me. You make me a better, more fun and outgoing person. If I didn't have you in my life, I'd be absolutely lost without you by my side. You helped me all throughout high school, and you're doing the same now that I'm in college.

I'm constantly wishing I could keep you in my dorm room forever without anyone asking too many questions.

Sincerely,

Your other half.

How Anxiety Changes Your Relationships

When most people think of the term anxiety, they think of things like panic attacks and depression. What they don't seem to think about is the affect it has on the relationships that those people have. Whether it be with friends, family or significant others, every relationship changes once anxiety comes into the picture. Many times, people slowly develop anxiety, but there are some times that it comes on more suddenly. People, as well as their relationships, become different when someone suffers from anxiety.

Whether it is true or not, most people believe that their friends, family and partners treat them slightly differently once it is out in the open that they suffer from anxiety. While some do (usually in an attempt to be sympathetic), many do not. Most people try to make those who are open and honest about their anxiety feel comfortable by treating them no different than anyone else. However, those who experience anxiety, temporary or permanent, tend to overthink most all situations.

Having anxiety within a friendship, or even a family, is much different than that of what it is like while in a partnership of some kind. The topic of uneasiness is more approachable between friends than it is with someone you are involved with. While it is still likely to be a difficult conversation to have, talking about your struggles and being able to set goals with friends and family is one of the most helpful things a person with anxiety can do. That being said, your relationship will still be different than it was prior to discussing your mental illness. This has nothing to do with whomever you have spoken to about your anxiety, but it has everything to do with your anxiety. Once you (and your anxiety) are aware that another person recognizes your situation, it seems that you become even more uncomfortable. I bet you didn't think that was possible! Well, it is.

Once another person knows about your anxiety, you become more and more conscience of what your relationship entails. No matter who it is — a girlfriend, boyfriend, family member or best friend — it becomes easier to sweat the small stuff. You worry more often about every action you take pertaining the aforementioned person. You will more than likely think about every word you say and every move you make. That may sound appealing, but trust me, it is not. You will overthink everything so much so that it drastically alters your relationship.

But, not to worry, many times (shockingly enough) this can change your relationships for the better. For those of you who are afraid, don't be. It is more than possible to overcome your fears, whether it be simply discussing your anxiety or overthinking the littlest of things, it is achievable. Just because things may be different, does not mean that they will be lousy. Most all people are understanding, caring, and even forgiving. But in order for them to be each of those things, they have to become aware of your situation.

It's the Little Things

 When I went to college, the only thing I was concerned about was being a new freshman. I wanted to do all of the typical, stereotypical first-year-of-college activities. My only plans were to become besties with my new roommate, meet new people, stay out late, go to frat parties, etc. What I did not plan on, of course, was meeting the love of my life when I was 18 because, let’s be honest, the last thing anyone wants to do is settle down the second they get to college. Settling down means no more strange dates with people your roommate set you up with, and no more (attempted) flirting at parties. But, when cupid strikes, the only thing you can do is give in.

Toward the end of my first semester of college, I had been hanging out with a good friend of mine for quite some time. He just so happened to be pretty close with a guy that I had my sights set on for a while. However, this guy I was so into had later started dating one of my girlfriends. Not wanting to be the homewrecker type, I left him alone, and I tried my best to keep my mind off of him for months. Sadly for them, and luckily for me, the two of them ended things when the semester was coming to a close. I didn’t plan to intrude; I merely wanted to make it clear that I was a good friend and source of comfort. I wanted to lend a helping hand while he was hurting. I had no intention of being a rebound, and I made that perfectly clear from the beginning.

However, the two of us began to spend an increasing amount of time together. Finally, just before our semester exams, we went on a real date together at the cutest little Italian restaurant. My heart was beating out of my chest all night, as I assumed that would be the night he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. But, you know what they say about people who assume… So, I was a nervous wreck for nothing. He didn’t ask me to go out with him that night. I became highly discouraged about the whole thing. I realized I made it clear that we needed to take things slow because of his recent relationship, but I couldn’t help but go over the entire night over and over again in my mind. What could I have possibly done wrong? I thought it had went very well and, typically, my anxiety took over. I no longer had control over my own thoughts about the night. In my mind, everything had gone wrong: he no longer wanted anything to do with me, and he hated our first night out.

As it turned out, my anxiety was all kinds of wrong about that night. I only knew this because, about a week later (closer to Christmas), he took me to the most beautiful park, overflowing with twinkling lights. There, he gave me a handwritten letter that had the lyrics to George Straight’s “Check Yes or No” neatly written at the bottom. It was the most magical night I had ever encountered. That night, I felt as though I was the star in one of those sweet rom-coms that are always shown on the Lifetime channel during the holidays. It was perfect. He was perfect. We were perfect.

From then on, we were inseparable. If we weren’t at home or in class, we were together. I was always in his dorm, and he was always in mine. The only problem was our upcoming winter break; that meant almost two months apart from each other. We realized it would be hard, but we didn’t know just how difficult it would be. We had just started dating, so we were still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. Being apart was not in the rule book for the honeymoon stage. But, that is how I eventually learned he was the one for me.

Being away from him tore me apart. But, that's not what made me realize how perfect he was for me. It was the little things I began to notice while we were away from each other; it was the way he said my name, the tone of his voice. It was clear, just from his voice, he was missing me just as much as I was missing him. It was the way he did everything in his power to spend time with me. Not only that, it was the way he spent that time with me. He made sure I felt special the whole time we were together, even if it was only for a few hours at a time. Then again, he always made me feel special. He still does. But it was the way he held me, too; his goodbyes. Each time we had to part, we never knew when we would see each other again, so he kissed me like it'd be the last time he ever did. He held me closer, and he held me tighter. He made me feel his love in a way that I never even imagined possible.

It was over that winter break that I knew he was my forever. He was my future.

Since then, we've only grown stronger. He has done nothing but reassure me that he is the man for me. He's constantly making me feel like I am capable of anything with him, and I truly believe that. He makes the bad good, and he makes the good even better. Whether we're out on a fancy date or we're sitting on the couch, munching on snacks, watching movies in our pajamas, he always makes me feel loved and wanted. He never doubts me, and he supports every decision I make, even if he isn't sure about it. He knows I can take on anything, and I know he'll be by my side through it all. But, most importantly, he always, always makes me feel loved, like I don't have a worry in the world. That's how I know he's the one.

My Parents Are My Best Friends

Most girls grow up in one of two ways; a Mommy's girl or a Daddy's girl. I, however, am stuck in the middle. I am an only child, and in my almost 20 years of life I have been blessed with two parents who I share an unbreakable bond with. For as long as I can remember, my mom and dad have been my best friends.

While I was born in July of '96, just three years prior my sister was born in the same month. Her name was Molly, and she was one of the most beautiful baby girls I have ever laid eyes on, although, some might say that I'm biased on that subject. My sister was born prematurely, and the day she was born, she fit into the palm of my Dad's hand. She may have only lived 10 days on this earth, but she will be loved forever.

I'd like to think that Molly is a big contributor to the special type of love and friendship that I share with my parents. If it weren't for her, there's a good chance that I wouldn't be here today. My mom has openly admitted more than once that she was never too fond of the idea of having children, at least not until my oldest cousin was born and she became an aunt. However, losing Molly was a tragedy for not only my parents, but my whole family. So when I was born, things were a little different. My mom and dad held me tighter. Now, at 20, they still hug me a bit harder and a bit longer than normal each time I leave, even if I'm only going to the grocery store. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Knowing that I shouldn't be an only child is painful, but it's just as hard for my parents. No matter the circumstance, I consider myself lucky to have the wonderful parents that I do. Not many people, teenagers especially, can say that their parents are their closest friends and the first people they run to, whether it be good news or bad.

Growing up, I spent all my time with family, more specifically, my parents. Some of my fondest memories center around the drives to and from wherever we were going on any given day. I remember the drives more than the actual places. The best and most important thing to me back then, and now, was cruising in the car with every window down and the radio turned up as far as it would go. Most people do this with their piers. But, I did it with my dad, and that's even better. We always had '80s hair bands pounding their music through the speakers. Motley Crue, Poison, Kiss, Def Leopard, you name it, we listened to it and sang along. And by sang along, I mean screamed every word as loud as possible, right along with the music.

My mom was the same way, only we bonded over typical girl things like shopping, gossip, and emotional TV shows. Especially the "Gilmore Girls" and "Friends." We would watch episode after episode, quoting every line until we made my dad want to pull his hair out. We would (and still do) quote "Friends" like it was some secret, inside joke that we had. The lines that we recite, even now, are ones that only true "Friends" fans would know. The line we most commonly scream is, "PIVOT," from the episode "The One with the Cop." It never fails; people who aren't super fans like us look at us like we have six eyes and tentacles for arms.

I have the two most perfect parents in the world. They have never once questioned me or stopped supporting me in any of my decisions. The two of them are constantly there when I need a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold. They're always around for me to scream my good news to. They are the two people in the whole world that I know will only ever constantly send praise my way, even when I don't deserve it. I will never stop being thankful for all that they have done for me.

Be Grateful for Your Extroverted Bestie

 It's quite common to have that one friend that is constantly dragging you out when all you want is to stay in. Unless you are that friend, in which case you would be the extrovert in the relationship. But something that not many people realize is that having an extrovert for a best friend is much better than you might think.

On those Fridays when you just want to stay in and Netflix and Chill with a bottle of wine, but your BFF drags you out anyways, you should be thankful. Instead of getting irritated that you have to leave your couch and trade your comfy PJ pants for skin-tight jeans, thank her for getting you off your ass and out into public. You might be semi-unhappy about the situation at first, but we both know that by the time the night is over, you'll be having the time of your life. So, instead of wasting your time huffing and puffing about squeezing yourself into that new crop top, relax and trust that your extrovert of a best friend has a good night in store for you.

Whether you're going to the clubs, the bars or just a back road bonfire, being an introvert, it is going to be hard for you to do; it will be even harder for you to enjoy yourself. Most of the time you're there, you're probably going to be questioning why your friend dragged you there when you could be cuddling up to some cheap Barefoot Wine. But something that you should keep in mind is that your bestie didn't drag you off your couch for her. She did it for you. She wants what is best for you. And, most likely, what's best for you is not staying in and eating an entire pizza alone while binge watching a TV show you've already watched 18 times. What IS best for you is probably getting out and actually enjoying yourself and the people around you.

I know it's hard to think about while you're laying on the couch with your two friends, Ben and Jerry, but your extrovert wants to help you come out of your shell. Most introverts, much like myself, suffer from some form of anxiety or other disease. That being said, going out is a challenge for them, and you're extroverted other half only wants to make it easier for you.

Thank them. Always, always, always remember to thank them. Being an introvert myself, I love having someone like that by my side to drag me out when I can't do it myself. I am more than thankful to have a best friend to make me feel comfortable when I'm at my most vulnerable (AKA out in public.) Having someone like that with you helps you to let your guard down and relax, because you know she will be there when you're at a loss for words or just too anxious to function.

So next time, please remember to be grateful for all that your extroverted friends do for you that you don't realize. Thank them for pulling you out of bed or off the couch. Thank them for putting the pizza in the fridge and the ice cream in the freezer. Thank them for picking out your outfit and reminding you how good you look in your skinny jeans. Thank them for everything. Most of all, thank them for helping you when you can't realize that you need to help yourself.