Recipe for Being a Good Pet

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Being a pet is pretty challenging.

Take it from me, the family goldfish.

Cats purr, dogs bark, and birds chirp.

But, what the hell do I do?

Swim around in a tiny-ass glass bowl 24/7.

In order to be considered a good pet, as well as survive, you must be able to get your human’s attention.

Goldfish. Can’t. Do. That.

To be a good pet, you must also be able to spend some good ‘ol quality time with your human.

Go on walks, snuggle, play fetch.

Goldfish can’t do that either.

Good pets are typically well mannered.

Sweet, cuddly, and warm.

Goldfish have none of those characteristics.

A good pet will stay at your side when you fall suddenly ill; take care of you in a way.

Goldfish are stuck in bowls and can never escape.

But, a truly good bet will never leave your side.

Goldfish die.

A lot.

All in all, being a goldfish, we’re pretty shitty pets.

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